Shoutout to @booksnblazers for putting this one on my radar! And then thanks to NetGalley and Dial Press for granting my request for the eARC. I am not usually a sports romance person. I have tried a few. (I read Intercepted by Alexa Martin a few years ago and thought it was ok. And maybe others I have forgotten?) And I have not yet tried the (in)famous hockey situation yet… But this trans and queer minor league baseball (insert here: my inflammatory opinion about how baseball is more of a pastime than a sport anyways) situation intrigued me.
“You were literally made to be on a baseball diamond. Which is kind of incredible, because you were also not at all made to be on a baseball diamond.”
Quick synopsis. Gene Ionescu is an underdog, an optimist, and is *just about* living all his dreams, playing as part of a minor league baseball team (the first openly trans player to do so) in Oregon, the Beaverton Beavers. He’s got everything carefully balanced out, until his former teammate, Luis Estrada, is traded to the Beavers. Gene and Luis just do not get along, and their inability to play together is putting the team into a tough – losing a lot – place. So, for the sake of the team, they begrudgingly start doing some extra practice time together…and the tension between them turns to a different sort altogether. Now, Gene and Luis are trying to balance totally new things, like their individual dreams of playing in the majors (or not, as it turns out) and their beliefs (or not, again, as it were) that they can pursue both that and be together.
Look, like I said, I don’t do baseball. I think it’s a silly sport. But I won’t lie – I do enjoy the social aspect of going to watch the local team (the Durham Bulls!) now and again. And it turns out that I really did enjoy reading this and imagining this team, their relationships and dramas and all of it, happening in that setting. It was low-key more fun than I’d anticipated. Also, I was entirely in support of this taking over of “America’s pastime” with queer characters. That is everything I want in a sports-based socio-cultural upheaval! One more sports comment… I thought the inclusion of the local game/color commentators was such a great nod to the uniqueness of small town/local sports. Granted my experience with that kind of commentary is all soccer-related, but I think the vibes are similar. And it was a really fun aspect and a great way to move the story forward quickly, at a few points (the baseball season is so long!), and I appreciated that.
As far as the rest of the book goes, Gene and Luis are so painfully, but sweetly, awkward. I was a little worried to start, because this is a “just one POV” romance (Gene’s), and I was afraid of Luis being able to get over his tough first impressions without his own narrative voice, but it turned out just fine. The enemies-to-lovers turn felt successful and genuine. They both ended up being so vulnerable with each other (content warning and shoutout for very real anxiety and panic attack rep) and I couldn’t get enough of that. I was also super happy with the overall way this played out, both with the relationship and with the baseball career storylines. There was a lot of messaging about following your own dreams, giving yourself the space to decide what exactly those dreams are, for yourself, and then allowing yourself to want and go for them. (A note here, there was also a wonderful side-story, two really, about also knowing when it’s time to let a dream go and find new ones – it was heartbreaking and fulfilling at the same time). Overall, there was a lot of emotional maturity showcased in this novel and I do love that in a romance.
Two random highlights: The Kyles. I mean all the teammates, really, but those three were great. Alright, also Vince. And the manager. Ok fine, the side characters were all really good (and very diverse!). The bonus material at the end – the walkout song list, the annotated bagel recipe and running playlist – were super fun and sweet additions.
Finally, I want to note that this book is so goddamn hopeful that it hurts. And that’s a feeling that is so important to have, now and again, and to remember how it feels. In reading the Author’s Note, that seemed to be a major purpose in the writing of this novel. And I want Hoffman to know that It. Came. Through. Maybe not everything that happens seems possible right now. But that doesn’t mean it won’t ever be, or that that’s a reason not to try/dream for it, and that is the message. The unabashed joy in being who you are – in regards to both gender and sexuality – is on full display here. And even if it’s not always/universally supported, it’s still very, very worth focusing on the many who DO support, and celebrate, that inclusion. When I finished reading this, I felt full. I love that feeling. Everyone deserves to have it, to see it for themselves and people like themselves. Beautiful.
A number of pull-quotes:
“Love without the details, he has always found, is easier to receive.”
“…there’s something a little freeing in admitting to yourself that something will scare you no matter how well you prepare.”
“But the other part, the part that queer people maybe understand better than anyone else, is the act of a parent changing the shape of their home so it can fit you, and loving you as much as they always have. More, because they know you better now.”
“Hope can be selfless. But wanting feels selfish, and wanting means disappointment. / Hope doesn’t? / Hope and optimism, are, like…shots in the dark. Wanting is specific, and it’s hungry. It’s nuance.”
“It is absolutely like Gene to force himself not to want something just because the possibility of not getting it, the grief of losing something he never had, hurts too much. It’s one of his best skills.”
Just One More Pa(i)ge 